Stun me. Pull my finger is NOT
the World’s oldest joke
You’d think that the world’s oldest joke would be
somehow related to the world’s oldest
profession, and you’re right. We’re talking farmers here.
Who’s to say, really, if this is the world’s
oldest joke. It’s pretty darn old, that’s for sure,
but there’s no official record book to check, far
as I know.
One thing’s for sure. This joke is so old that
you may not get it, so at the end I’ll splain it
to you.
Farmer Bob walks across the field to his
neighbor, Farmer Bobtoo, where Farmer Bobtoo is chopping
down a tree with his ax. Farmer Bob says How’s
that old ax of yours holdin out? And Farmer
Bobtoo says This old thing? This is the best ax I’ve
ever had. It’s had 2 new heads and 6 new
handles, and it’s as good as the day I got it.
When it comes to old stuff, the new way is often
better–not always, but often. Used to be if you
wanted to defend yourself you pretty much had to
kill the other guy. Most of the time that was a
good thing, too. People used to need killin all
the time.
Nowadays you can just ruin a punks day with a
one-two combination of
pepper spray and a stun
baton. Maybe throw
in a free earring rip-off while he’s on the
ground and disoriented.
Won’t stop the bad guys from looking for another
victim later on, but leastways it’ll keep em away
from your neighborhood for awhile. Keep em away
from your loved ones.
Now, about that joke. An ax only has 2 parts,
the head and the handle. So an ax that’s had 2 new
heads and 6 new handles ain’t even close to
being the same ax it was when it was new.
Farmers are hard workin folks and they know how
to find humor anyplace they can. That joke had em
rolling in the corn fields, year after year
after year, I reckon. Maybe even the same way the
punks’ll be rolling on the ground after you
introduce them to some pepper spray, stun baton and an
earring removal.